I love James Bond films – I have seen and enjoyed them all many times over. This is why I was so surprised how bad Skyfall was after seeing it. The previews for the movie really set expectations high with “the best Bond movie yet”. Quite a statement considering how great the old movies were such as Dr. No as well as how the newer ones such as Casino Royale.
This is my summary on why Skyfall sucked.
Do not read this if you have not seen the movie as it basically contains a synopsis.
Let’s start with the opening scene. Someone steals a list of secret agents from a computer in a hotel room. First, this has already been done with Mission Impossible – start with something a little more original. Second, why was this information on a laptop in Turkey? At least Mission Impossible had this info stored in an embassy
After Bond gets picked up in the SUV and they take off after the bad guy (Patrice), they end up in a gunfight where Patrice takes out this gun with a double barrel supply of bullets. He obviously can’t carry that in his jacket which is the point of a handgun for this. Why wouldn’t he just use automatic assault rifle? Also, how many bullets were fired during this scene – and now one gets hit? What is this, GI Joe (the cartoon)? You are a spy and an assassin and neither of you can shoot your target?
Next. So Patrice apparently uses depleted uranium bullets. These are supposed to be used because uranium is a denser material so it can pierce through more materials such as metal but they don’t go through the metal of the Caterpillar when Bond is in it? Also, MI6 is able to find out how this guy is as apparently only three “bad guys” in the world use depleted uranium bullets. Only three guys in the world use this type of bullet? Do they not know that government agencies could track them this way? Smooth moves Patrice!
Next. Bond is fighting Patrice on the train (with a gun shot to his shoulder) and then gets shot off the train. First, where did he get shot the second time? I saw where he was shot the first time (shoulder) but where was the second bullet wound? Also, he gets hit twice, falls off a train with enough height to kill someone, and still survives? Bourne rip off. Later, we find out that there were still bullet fragments inside his body – he just left them in there? What was the point of that?
Next. the evil villain who we haven’t met yet blows up MI6 by turning on the gas. Really? You can access gas to a secured government facility by internet? So a haggard Bond comes back to MI6 and goes after Patrice in Shanghai. First, we see Patrice just walk into a building and shoot the security guard – why was the front door not locked? No cameras he was worried about? No one else in the building at all to worry about walking in or out (cleaning crew, someone working late) who would call the cops while he is stuck in the building? We follow him upstairs to find out he is about to assassinate some guy in another high rise building. At first, I thought “oh, the guy who is about to get shot has bodyguards so the villain needs an assassin to take him out.” Nope, those bodyguards work for the villain so that means there are 4 people in that room and 3 are with the villain but they need to pay an assassin 4 million euros to take him out? One of the three could’t have brought a gun with them or knife and just saved the 4 million? Anyway, Bond lets Patrice kill the guy before doing anything. I understand Bond is supposed to be ruthless but that just sounds stupid. You let your enemy kill his enemy – why wouldn’t you save him to see what value he would be, I mean he is the enemy of your enemy and all.
So in a homage to old Bond films, 007 finds a clue in a poker chip which Patrice was supposed to cash if for the job. Alright, a little cheesy but alright (they wouldn’t have done that in Casino Royale). Hell, why didn’t they just wire him the money? Anyway, Bond fights three guys in a casino with a briefcase full of money that he throws around like it is empty (I am thinking 4 million euros weighs quite a bit). Bond has a gun on him and he knows these guys want to kill him but he doesn’t pull it out and shoot or just say “hey, i have a gun, get out of my way or I am going to shoot you.” Also, since when do these types of lizards eat people?
Next, he goes on a boat to hook up with the typical Bond girl full well knowing that the guys on the boat probably work for the main villain. They just let him on board the boat? And he gets to sleep with the villain’s girl? Did she really not know she was going to die for doing this? What, she just could’t resist Bond so she sleeps with him right below all the villain’s bodyguards? Why did they let him on board and not immediately cuff him?
Next, the Bond girl dies (well that was quick). Suddenly, Bond is able to take out 5 guys at the same time even though he was unarmed and they all had guns. Amazing since he couldn’t take out Patrice at the beginning of the film even while he had a gun.
About that island. How did the villain (Silva) get an entire island? Fear of a chemical leak that evacuates an entire island and the world press nor any country investigates? Amazing!
So this former MI6 spy is also a genius computer hacker? If he is not the hacker, who is? They can just hack into the MI6 whenever they want? A little stretched.
Everyone is back at the new MI6 headquarters and the new Q plugs their computer system into Silva’s laptop which suddenly hijacks their computer system. WHAT? This is the smartest computer guy at MI6 and he didn’t think this could happen? Really? Anyway, M is in a hearing with top government officials when a train (with apparently no passengers) plunges through a tunnel. When that happened and it would most likely be viewed as a terrorist attack, they kept on with the proceedings in the courtroom? Wouldn’t they stop the proceedings to deal with something like this? Then Silva and his henchmen just walk in the courtroom by only shooting one security guard at the entrance? One guard is it? And once inside, no one can kill the Silva with all the shots fired?
So Silva miraculously gets away and Bond thinks the best solution is to go “off the grid” instead of using all British intelligence to track this guy down? He is in the UK where cameras are everywhere and the they decide to go AWOL with M as bait. 2nd, they don’t stop to get any weapons along the way? While some may like the old Aston Martin as a homage to the best, I thought is was too cheesy. When there is nothing new for a franchise, it inevitably starts to feed on itself with references to what was already done. This is only the 3rd movie in this re-imagined Bond – no need to start referencing the past yet.
Skyfall? Seriously? Bond is apparently a rich orphan? Stop stealing from Batman! He is an orphan that did not come from money – that is why he has a chip on his shoulder (as diagnosed by the Bond girl in Casino Royale on the train). This is a rip off of Harrison Ford’s Witness (and not done as well). So I don’t know why Silva didn’t attack at night under the cover of darkness, but whatever. Also, turning light bulbs into bombs? Was that M or MacGyver? What exactly caused that big explosion when the helicopter flew into the house? Don’t think even a full fuel tank could have caused that.
Next. M and the caretaker escape to the church. Not really a bright idea to use a flashlight so that the bad guys can track you. Bond of course follows running in the open across a frozen pond, not a bright idea to run across in the open but whatever. So once he was caught and Silva’s henchman is right next to him with a gun, why did he not have his gun not directly pointed at Bond? Was he hoping to ricochet a bullet off the ice at him? Wow, didn’t see that coming. Wait, I saw this in Cliffhanger
When Silva reaches the church why were M and the caretaker not ready for anyone to come after them? Why would they assume no one saw them walking over to the church? I mean they did have their flashlight on.
In the end, Silva wants M to kill them both. Some Bond villains are driven by money or world domination but this guy is driven by his mommy issues? Seriously? Silva is apparently the best hacker the world has ever seen and instead of rigging banks to transfer money into his accounts or taking over countries, his main plan is to get back at mum?
To summarize: this movie sucked.