I love James Bond films – I have seen and enjoyed them all many times over. This is why I was so surprised how bad Skyfall was after seeing it. The previews for the movie really set expectations high with “the best Bond movie yet”. Quite a statement considering how great the old movies were such as Dr. No as well as how the newer ones such as Casino Royale.
This is my summary on why Skyfall sucked.
Do not read this if you have not seen the movie as it basically contains a synopsis.
Let’s start with the opening scene. Someone steals a list of secret agents from a computer in a hotel room. First, this has already been done with Mission Impossible – start with something a little more original. Second, why was this information on a laptop in Turkey? At least Mission Impossible had this info stored in an embassy
After Bond gets picked up in the SUV and they take off after the bad guy (Patrice), they end up in a gunfight where Patrice takes out this gun with a double barrel supply of bullets. He obviously can’t carry that in his jacket which is the point of a handgun for this. Why wouldn’t he just use automatic assault rifle? Also, how many bullets were fired during this scene – and now one gets hit? What is this, GI Joe (the cartoon)? You are a spy and an assassin and neither of you can shoot your target?
Next. So Patrice apparently uses depleted uranium bullets. These are supposed to be used because uranium is a denser material so it can pierce through more materials such as metal but they don’t go through the metal of the Caterpillar when Bond is in it? Also, MI6 is able to find out how this guy is as apparently only three “bad guys” in the world use depleted uranium bullets. Only three guys in the world use this type of bullet? Do they not know that government agencies could track them this way? Smooth moves Patrice!
Next. Bond is fighting Patrice on the train (with a gun shot to his shoulder) and then gets shot off the train. First, where did he get shot the second time? I saw where he was shot the first time (shoulder) but where was the second bullet wound? Also, he gets hit twice, falls off a train with enough height to kill someone, and still survives? Bourne rip off. Later, we find out that there were still bullet fragments inside his body – he just left them in there? What was the point of that?
Next. the evil villain who we haven’t met yet blows up MI6 by turning on the gas. Really? You can access gas to a secured government facility by internet? So a haggard Bond comes back to MI6 and goes after Patrice in Shanghai. First, we see Patrice just walk into a building and shoot the security guard – why was the front door not locked? No cameras he was worried about? No one else in the building at all to worry about walking in or out (cleaning crew, someone working late) who would call the cops while he is stuck in the building? We follow him upstairs to find out he is about to assassinate some guy in another high rise building. At first, I thought “oh, the guy who is about to get shot has bodyguards so the villain needs an assassin to take him out.” Nope, those bodyguards work for the villain so that means there are 4 people in that room and 3 are with the villain but they need to pay an assassin 4 million euros to take him out? One of the three could’t have brought a gun with them or knife and just saved the 4 million? Anyway, Bond lets Patrice kill the guy before doing anything. I understand Bond is supposed to be ruthless but that just sounds stupid. You let your enemy kill his enemy – why wouldn’t you save him to see what value he would be, I mean he is the enemy of your enemy and all.
So in a homage to old Bond films, 007 finds a clue in a poker chip which Patrice was supposed to cash if for the job. Alright, a little cheesy but alright (they wouldn’t have done that in Casino Royale). Hell, why didn’t they just wire him the money? Anyway, Bond fights three guys in a casino with a briefcase full of money that he throws around like it is empty (I am thinking 4 million euros weighs quite a bit). Bond has a gun on him and he knows these guys want to kill him but he doesn’t pull it out and shoot or just say “hey, i have a gun, get out of my way or I am going to shoot you.” Also, since when do these types of lizards eat people?
Next, he goes on a boat to hook up with the typical Bond girl full well knowing that the guys on the boat probably work for the main villain. They just let him on board the boat? And he gets to sleep with the villain’s girl? Did she really not know she was going to die for doing this? What, she just could’t resist Bond so she sleeps with him right below all the villain’s bodyguards? Why did they let him on board and not immediately cuff him?
Next, the Bond girl dies (well that was quick). Suddenly, Bond is able to take out 5 guys at the same time even though he was unarmed and they all had guns. Amazing since he couldn’t take out Patrice at the beginning of the film even while he had a gun.
About that island. How did the villain (Silva) get an entire island? Fear of a chemical leak that evacuates an entire island and the world press nor any country investigates? Amazing!
So this former MI6 spy is also a genius computer hacker? If he is not the hacker, who is? They can just hack into the MI6 whenever they want? A little stretched.
Everyone is back at the new MI6 headquarters and the new Q plugs their computer system into Silva’s laptop which suddenly hijacks their computer system. WHAT? This is the smartest computer guy at MI6 and he didn’t think this could happen? Really? Anyway, M is in a hearing with top government officials when a train (with apparently no passengers) plunges through a tunnel. When that happened and it would most likely be viewed as a terrorist attack, they kept on with the proceedings in the courtroom? Wouldn’t they stop the proceedings to deal with something like this? Then Silva and his henchmen just walk in the courtroom by only shooting one security guard at the entrance? One guard is it? And once inside, no one can kill the Silva with all the shots fired?
So Silva miraculously gets away and Bond thinks the best solution is to go “off the grid” instead of using all British intelligence to track this guy down? He is in the UK where cameras are everywhere and the they decide to go AWOL with M as bait. 2nd, they don’t stop to get any weapons along the way? While some may like the old Aston Martin as a homage to the best, I thought is was too cheesy. When there is nothing new for a franchise, it inevitably starts to feed on itself with references to what was already done. This is only the 3rd movie in this re-imagined Bond – no need to start referencing the past yet.
Skyfall? Seriously? Bond is apparently a rich orphan? Stop stealing from Batman! He is an orphan that did not come from money – that is why he has a chip on his shoulder (as diagnosed by the Bond girl in Casino Royale on the train). This is a rip off of Harrison Ford’s Witness (and not done as well). So I don’t know why Silva didn’t attack at night under the cover of darkness, but whatever. Also, turning light bulbs into bombs? Was that M or MacGyver? What exactly caused that big explosion when the helicopter flew into the house? Don’t think even a full fuel tank could have caused that.
Next. M and the caretaker escape to the church. Not really a bright idea to use a flashlight so that the bad guys can track you. Bond of course follows running in the open across a frozen pond, not a bright idea to run across in the open but whatever. So once he was caught and Silva’s henchman is right next to him with a gun, why did he not have his gun not directly pointed at Bond? Was he hoping to ricochet a bullet off the ice at him? Wow, didn’t see that coming. Wait, I saw this in Cliffhanger
When Silva reaches the church why were M and the caretaker not ready for anyone to come after them? Why would they assume no one saw them walking over to the church? I mean they did have their flashlight on.
In the end, Silva wants M to kill them both. Some Bond villains are driven by money or world domination but this guy is driven by his mommy issues? Seriously? Silva is apparently the best hacker the world has ever seen and instead of rigging banks to transfer money into his accounts or taking over countries, his main plan is to get back at mum?
To summarize: this movie sucked.
I agree, all valid points. I was looking forward to gadgets girls and suave old bond. Aside from the nice Tom Ford wardrobe and his classic Aston, the movie didn’t live up.
Thank you so much; i thought it was just me among the idiots who loved this film. The writing is a disgrace. Every member of the cast who read this turd of a script should be ashamed. Dialogue is vapid; plot uninteresting, predictable, cliched; acting is so conceited and everyone thinks they’re a playboy-no enthusiasm in their characters’ motivation. I’m off to hang myself.
here it thought i was alone…valid on all points….i think the scriptwriter was some teen son or daughter of the producer….that’s the way hollywood moves these days…dreck, wasted 2hrs of my life bleh
I couldn’t agree more with you, there was nothing original in this movie. It was random sequences from different movies. Should have never bought into the hype.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope someone involved with the production of this god-awful film reads this.
So glad to find someone else who saw through this rubbish. Why are so many missing how awful this is?
His getting onto the boat undetected, I could get on board with. But falling 50+stories into shallow water with two bullet wounds . . . ? One of which we never see? And the tired old argument of why we need HUMINT…as you say, stop recycling that which has been done and come up with something remotely original!
Just terrible, especially considering how well the first two Craig/Bond films were.
Yes, thank you so much for writing this. The film was atrocious.
Casino Royale still number one!
Great review and I have to say the people who made this film should be ashamed of themselves. I was trying to figure out why this was released and the only explanation I can come up with is the writers and director are playing some twisted trick on Bond movie fans. By trying to make it the worst they possibly could, then seeing how much money it would generate, they could prove what a bunch of moronic sheep the movie going audience is. Four whole years and the best they can come up with is this garbage? There is no doubt in my mind that most of the critics you see on rottentomatoes.com are paid shills for the studios. This ridiculous mess proves it.
Thank you, I agree with everything…there is so much to say about things that did not make sense I’m surprised u summed it up so well…93% on rotten tomatoes? Are you serious? That was the worst Bond film ever…The first two craig/bonds…good. The third, horrendous.
I agree so much. Also, did anyone question the fact that he shot his way under ice?! Like he would die under ice in freezing water. He would have hypothermia and drown. Like, he didn’t even look cold or shivering after he got out of the water. That was ridiculous in my opinion, completely unrealistic.
Also, the whole plot of the movie was stupid. Like, instead of saving the world, or at least protecting his country, Bond’s only mission was to stop a bad guy who was only after one lady, M. Bond and M ended up doing more damage to the public in the process of stopping the bad guy than good. What has M done that made her deserve to run that spy company any more anyway? The courtroom had valid points…she had only caused a mess with the program recently, not help. But honestly, if the bad guy was more of a threat to the mass public, it would have been substantially better, but instead he was simply after one woman…stupid.
Also, was completely confused by how a naked Bond just creepily walks in behind the woman while shes showering and she wasnt surprised/creeped out at all?! When did she ever really get to know him besides their weird little conversation that made absolutely no sense. It was stupid and this movie sucked big time.
Oh, and M is such a bitch. No one would be that much of a bitch after basically killing someone and finding out that he survived.
Right, why would anyone like M? It was GREAT when she died at least. She was the first “PC” M anyway, worthless. And you could tell that she was an “affirmative action” hire given the horrific job she was doing. Take the shot, really? How much screen time did she get, an hour? This movie was about a disgruntled employee and M’s failed career. I think they should have focused on Bond!
SKYFAIL!!!
Truly sad..why do movie companies do this? Let’s take a popular movie series people love, kill off a character everyone liked and completely change everything. Q is a young guy..Really? Moneypenny is a black chick..really? M is dead, come one..oh, and gone are all the cars, women, international intrigue and class. This flick SUCKED!
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!
I was a bit disappointed as well. But this bothered me through the ENTIRE film. Bond was shot in his RIGHT shoulder/upper chest – you could see the blood stain through to the back of his jacket. References were made to his difficulty using his right side- but mysteriously his wound then shifted to the LEFT side, (I’m pretty sure that’s where he pulled out the depleted uranium- which probably would have killed another human being!) Then the wound back again!
I was trying to figure out if it was part of the plot – whether he was dreaming or something?!!
And where was the “take the shot” wound that knocked him off the train?
And why, didn’t MI6 send support when they KNEW where Bond was taking M at the end? They left them to fend for themselves? IT didn’t make sense to me. Rather disappointed, especially with all the hype!
He was in a mirror. That’s why it seems to switch sides.
Meanwhile. No other bullet wound & no explanation as to how he fell two hundred thousand stories into a brook, and not turn to pulp, concerns me a smidgen more.
Sorry, he was NOT in a mirror- he was using his right hand to pull the bullet fragments out of his left shoulder. Another friend saw it exactly the same way that I did, and wondered about it..
But you are right- no other bullet wound that would have been the “kill shot” why he fell into the river.
You got this exactly right! This was the WORST/slowest/low budget Bond movie I have seen. I’m done with the “Bond Franchise,” it’s jumped the shark and it’s over. I think you were actually too kind- what was all the gay stuff about? The villain is “gay” but he goes to all the trouble to keep a super hot girlfriend? What??? Talk about low budget- no yacht? No cool cars? They filmed this thing in London with a couple of street permits from City Hall and cigarette money.
bond failed. M died and that was the aim of the villan. Also what happened to the hard drive with all the agents identities? getting that back would be pretty important but its forgotten completely at the end. I did enjoy it though but the plot holes marred it. uranium bullet embedded inside him…no radiation poisoning? Will bond die of cancer in the next movie?
Choppy script, wrong director, bad story line! I mean what was with the hype? This was a sham! No explanation or support for the characters or the theme. Get Martin Cambell back as director, or give it up!
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Yeah, the movie was terrible. I don’t know why it’s getting such great reviews. I guess it was better than QoS, but not by much.
SKYFAIL was truly horrific writing and the post-editors should have been fired.
An idiot could have shot Patrice while on top of the train scene, (or twicely and easily before that), by allowing his positioning to approach her perpendicularly, just before the tunnel. It would have been an easy shot. Can film makers ever get away from having pretty young girls perform severely stupid acts in major motion pictures? (Anjelina Jolie, in SALT, was one of the very few to avoid this rapidity). If I were M, MoneyPenny would have, immediately, been FIRED….”Next”!
When Bond pulled the ‘Jason Bourne’ stunt by falling into the river, the underwater scene showed 2 bloody shirt; bulletted areas…one in front of the shoulder and one at his mid-to-lower abdomen area, on his rightside. Amazing how that lower right abdomenal scar healed so well, (from a rifle shot at how many tens of yards away? – which would have gouged about 4 inches out of him), and was not even noticeable the rest of the movie. James Bond is truly a quick healer!
How about Bond allowing the beautiful but quickly disposable bond girl to die before taking out all the hit men surrounding him. Pretty sick for film makers to force viewers to have to presume what would happen, watch it happen, and then wonder why Bond did take out the hit men earlier, with the same positioned opportunity and save her life?
I felt like one of those voyeurs who watch actual video footage of hostages getting their heads cut off slowly. …or wait…was this Hitchcock?…did I get my directors mixed up?
Oh – and how about Bond using M, (a high-ranking, veteran, Director of Intelligence?) as bait, with her getting shot and dying?…Would that not be the end of Bond’s career, if not a court-marahalling en suite?
The film failures from start to finish, were too consummate to detail. I can not proceed to include all the ‘oopsies’,…as it was primarily, a total test of my intelligence.
Had it not been for the other 7 movie-goers I’d escorted, I would have left the theatre within the first 10 minutes.
court marshalling…(not ‘court marahalling)…TYPO…
Further, the motorcycle chase scene on the roofs of Istanbul is a direct lift from the movie The International. Also, the scene where the evil mastermind was in a glass box, it is taken straight from Hannibal. The whole time I felt like it was Deja Vu, because I had seen this exact thing play out before.
Thanks for the post. I feel pretty much the same way. There were a few things I would add about what made the movie so terrible, but I am short on time. If anyone wants to know feel free to respond. The only thing I have to say in somewhat of an opposition to your review is that this was the 50 year anniversary of the bond movie franchise and that those gimmicky uses of past bond memorabilia were homages. So I didn’t have any problem with those being in there. The movie sucked. I have hated each of these reboots more and more and will not pay money to see the next one. I saw bond movies because I liked the spy games played. The gadgets, the cars, the stunts only a Double 0 agent could pull, that was the reason I saw bond movies. If people want the hyper realistic movies they can go watch bourne movies. They can keep the terrible camera work to themselves. I want great escapes, plans of world domination, and secret spy items. I want to envy bond and the life he lives. I don’t want to look at some guy who fails his mission and lets his boss get killed in a very unflattering way. Seriously WHO escaping in darkness thinks it is a good idea to turn on a flashlight and then not take cover or have a weapon ready while hiding in a corner as evil doers are after you. I already hated the movie and that part made me scream in my seat. “Are you %ing kidding me.”
This isn’t me but really sums it up.
I hated the movie and will never watch another Daniel Craig Bond film again, because he just plain sucks. I agree with everything you said with a couple of comments for you. The clip would be a double drum clip, and not a double barrel anything, also not many shots were fired in that scene. The bad guy fires like 10 bullets with the giant clip and then drops the clip on the ground, then fires about 300 bullets with a normal clip and never reloads, GREAT JOB SKYFAIL DIRECTOR.
Also, of course Bond swings the full suitcase… that’s how he knocks a couple guys out, an empty suitcase wouldn’t hurt anyone… and the scene where he takes out numerous guys after getting pissed at the bad guy shooting the typical ugly foreign Bond girl… please don’t write complaints about the only decent parts in the movie. And the Helicopter, being an aircraft and a medium sized helicopter, the fuel tank is pretty freaking big and filled with AV fuel, of course it could cause that explosion. That part was pretty realistic.
The rest of your review was good though.
Everyone who wrote a review about how much this movie sucked–I thank u from the bottom of my heart. I took my son to see the movie in second-run, not having seen a James Bond movie in 20 years, but having read great reviews of skyfall. It was pathetically pompous, stupid, annoying, unexplained, and offensive but I couldn’t leave becuase of my son and his friends. The message I got was that the producers and directorr assume that every movie goer is an idiot who deserves to be ripped off. I guess they are right. The reviews above point out all the gargantuan inanities in the movie and there are even more. I can’t stand to say any more except that after a horrifying 2 hours you guys have made me feel better that others saw this awful movie for what it was.
It is even WORSE!!
On the train, sitting behind the controls of the Caterpillar digger, he was shot in his LEFT shoulder,.. In the Mi6 scene where he pulled out the fragments, we (public) look at Bond through a mirror,… in this mirror he is cutting himself on his RIGHT side!